How do you rate YOUR self confidence?

So, time for a soul-bearing post.  I’ve just had a visit from a rep for a parent support charity, I was referred to them through my Doctor, then Health Visitor after seeing them about my mood/depression that I’ve been struggling with for mostly the last year.  The main point of the visit was to see what sort of support I might benefit from the most and there was a list of boxes she had to tick, things to talk to me about, etc.  One of the questions was how is my level of confidence.  I had to stop and think about it.  The fact that I couldn’t even answer straight away sortof even shocked me a little.  “Back home” if someone had asked me that question a few years ago i would have said my confidence was quite high.  I had a few little issues but mostly was quite confident and found talking to new people to be very easy.  Over here, it’s a totally different story.  Why?  It shouldn’t be that different really, after all I am the same person, am I not?  England and the U.S. aren’t really THAT different.  So what’s my problem?  Why do I get anxiety about meeting new people here?  Why am I suddenly thrown back to being the geeky kid at a middle school dance, standing in the corner wondering if people will like me?  I’m sure it’s partly because I have not forced myself to get out and involved in the community since I have lived here and it’s one of those things where the longer you leave it the harder it is to do.  Also, there are the worries and wonders if people will be positive or negative about me being American.  That’s a totally stupid thing to worry about, in reality being the foreigner usually is a great conversation starter … so why would I worry that being from a different Country mean we have nothing to talk about or nothing in common, or that they would not like me?  Silly, I know.  So anyway I will be going to the family group that they run each week at the local Children’s Centre and hopefully meet some parents & kids who live very near us and help broaden my world a little.  It will be good for me and Elliot, but since this group seems to be more focused on the parents and the kids just come along to play, I think it’s just what I need right now.

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